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Post by LEAD DOG on Dec 20, 2008 22:21:41 GMT -5
AFTER ALL...WE BUY MOST OF THE BEER. AND IT'S A REAL ATTENTION GETTER WHEN YER HIT BY ONE TOO  .....I got lotsa good ideas like that  !
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Post by BillyCement on Dec 21, 2008 7:51:50 GMT -5
It'd be a real workout drinking a 6-pack of them, wouldn't it? A little heavier than my normal "12 ounce curl".
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Post by LEAD DOG on Dec 21, 2008 13:47:02 GMT -5
GOOD POINT BILLY  ! LITE BEER IN A HEAVY BOTTLE! WHAT A CONCEPT HUH? ;D GOSH! WE'LL BE RICH, RICH, RICH!!! 
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Post by BillyCement on Dec 21, 2008 14:58:41 GMT -5
You could tell your doctor "Why, yes, doctor....I am getting some exercise. I've been doing some heavy lifting.".
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Post by concretejoe on Dec 21, 2008 15:24:21 GMT -5
You could guzzle for strength (longer drinks, less reps) or sip for stamina (quicker drinks, more reps). More advanced people can use two hands. What should we call the new program? Maybe we could get Chuck Norris to do an infomercial for it.
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Post by LEAD DOG on Dec 26, 2008 22:46:26 GMT -5
CHUCK NORRIS !!!! WOW! I WAS THINKIN' OF SOMEONE COOL LIKE WAYNE NEWTON.....BUT CHUCK NORRIS WILL WORK BETTER! HE'S A READY MIX DRIVERS READY MIX DRIVER! 
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Post by Crazy Mudder Trucker on Jan 1, 2009 0:48:17 GMT -5
will he tell me I get to use em for free for 60 days? |
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Post by concretejoe on Jan 2, 2009 22:52:16 GMT -5
60 days!? Wow!
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Post by Mort on Jan 4, 2009 0:01:37 GMT -5
# Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
# Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
# Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
# The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
# Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
# Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
# If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
# Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
# When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
# The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
# Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
# CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
# Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
# There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
# Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
# What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
# Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
# Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
# Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
# Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
# A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
# Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
# Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
# Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
# Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
# The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
# Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
# Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
# Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
# Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
# Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
# Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
# Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
# Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
# In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
# Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
# Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
# Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
# The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
# In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
# According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
# Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
# There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
# Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
# Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
# Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
chucknorrisfacts.com
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 4, 2009 18:10:29 GMT -5
MORT, DOES THIS MEAN CHUCK NORRIS DO OUR ADVERTISING?
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Post by concretejoe on Jan 4, 2009 20:04:48 GMT -5
I'd say he's perfect! He turns the wine into beer and puts it into a concrete bottle. Then we flash to the store and Chuck roundhouses anyone who picks up any other bottle.
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Post by Mixer Driver 69 on Jan 4, 2009 20:14:15 GMT -5
We could put Chuck's face on the labels of these concrete bottles.
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Post by concretejoe on Jan 6, 2009 23:19:42 GMT -5
What labels? We're going to have stamped concrete bottles!
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 7, 2009 21:31:04 GMT -5
What labels? We're going to have stamped concrete bottles! |
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Post by BillyCement on Jan 7, 2009 22:15:02 GMT -5
What labels? We're going to have stamped concrete bottles! |
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 9, 2009 22:35:37 GMT -5
CHUCK NORRIS CAN STAMP THE BOTTLES WITH HIS FIST!.....IT'S COMING TOGETHER FELLAS!
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Post by concretejoe on Jan 10, 2009 1:31:32 GMT -5
CHUCK NORRIS CAN STAMP THE BOTTLES WITH HIS FIST!.....IT'S COMING TOGETHER FELLAS! I like that! ANNOUNCER: Introducing new High Early Beer! The only beer strong enough for Chuck Norris! (Chuck stamps bottle with his fist) CHUCK: High Early Beer is the only beer for me. (Walks over to bottle on stand) Not only does it taste great, it comes in this revolutionary new concrete bottle. (Holds up bottle for the audience) What's so revolutionary about this bottle? It actually helps you burn the calories that you are drinking. You can sip quickly for stamina (flash to Chuck sipping at 1 sip/sec) or you can guzzle for strength (flash to Chuck tipping one back for a few seconds then he looks into the camera) AHHH! Feel the burn! And after you've become more advanced you can use both hands (Flash to Chuck sipping from alternate bottles). Call now to order the High Early Beer fitness regimen and we'll let you try it for six weeks.....(looking off camera) SIX WEEKS!? Wow! Well, you know what they say about beer don't ya. (Glaring back at the camera) So call now or I might have to come over and (Chuck roundhouse kicks a guy that goes flying through the wall) persuade you! Hurry now, my patience is running thin! ANNOUNCER: For the love of God, please call 1-888-443-2759 or 1-888-HI EARLY before Chuck gets any angrier. The fate of the world rests on your shoulders...(sounds of Chuck barging in) CHUCK: Are you trying to say something? I'm a nice guy! What do you mean, "Before he gets any angrier"? ANNOUNCER: Now Mr. Norris, I didn't mean anything by that. Calm down. NO!! (THUD) CHUCK: So, like the guy said. Call! NOW! |
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 10, 2009 2:39:16 GMT -5
HI-EARLY LITE TALL BOYS  ? NAH  OUR KEGGERS CAN KILL YA!....um....hmmmm...nah ,,,,PUT YER MIND TA THAT JOE
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Post by BillyCement on Jan 10, 2009 9:11:58 GMT -5
2:39am?? Dog, you gotta start keeping regular hours.
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 10, 2009 13:48:27 GMT -5
2:39am?? Dog, you gotta start keeping regular hours. ......I know.....It's gettin' to be a BAD habit too! . |
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Post by concretejoe on Jan 10, 2009 23:27:43 GMT -5
I must be tired because I can't follow you. Are we looking for a slogan now? |
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 12, 2009 9:41:32 GMT -5
I must be tired because I can't follow you. Are we looking for a slogan now? |
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Post by concretejoe on Jan 13, 2009 13:23:56 GMT -5
Someone has to do the product testing Lead Dog. We can't submit the masses to bad beer, can we? Just think of it as doing your part for the human race. I salute you and your liver! You are a true American Hero!
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Post by LEAD DOG on Jan 14, 2009 22:30:14 GMT -5
BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLCH!!!!
COOL! CAN DO GUNNY...er'...JOE...SIR ;D! GET ER' DONE! ;D
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.....I got lotsa good ideas like that 
!
! LITE BEER IN A HEAVY BOTTLE! 
? NAH 
OUR KEGGERS CAN KILL YA!....um....hmmmm...nah