....NOW THATS FUNNY!

[Lyle Pile]

Do any of you guys have any humorous moments, that can be cleanly described here? Not that we ever have fun on the job or anything.......

[Driver]

Yep one thing that comes to mind is your SIG

Yep,, Sand & Gravel wanted him when he was just 8 yrs old

[rllovr]

Heh now don't pick on b-- bba that way! thats buuuuulllllllll s--t ! besides Big would'nt
like it.

[nascarfan67]

well this was hilarious when it happened, we were pouring a wall, one of the drivers showed up in a rear discharge, got into position and started to pour, the contractor told him to put 10 gallons in, so he did, and when he started to pour, it was still to stiff, so the contractor was yelling at him and told him to turn the water on until he told him to stop, and then the contractor walked away, about a 100 gallons later he remembered and told him to shut it off, then told the driver to pour it out, as it was coming up the drum the contractor yelled faster, so he sped it up, it looked like a wave coming down the chute, when it hit the flat board the use sometimes to shoot it down in the wall, it shot up at least 5 to 6 feet in the air, covering the contractor from head to toe, every one on the job was laughing really hard, all except the guy who was covered in mud, he was screaming still, but for different reasons, lol, he threw his shovel farther than zeppi hits a golf ball.

[batchmaster]

had put my loader operator in a truck the one day, needed an extra truck. he was going to a wall at a local sub here, pulls up and decides he is going to put his chutes inside the wall, as if he were filling the basement, had to be told a couple of times to dump it into the forms. from what i was told, when he pulled up on the job, he told everyone to watch out, he didn't want any deaths on his hands that day.

[Driver]

A win win situation:


Dig a moat along the length of the Mexican border;

take the dirt and raise the levies in New Orleans;

then put the Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve? ;D ;D


LOL,,, nothing personal toward our Hispanic brothers,, We got alot in the trade and I love em all..They can bring water out of dirt & stone and be done with it before I get the truck back to the yard.

[Driver]

Dear Employee:
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for
department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of
personnel.
Under this plan:
Older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.
Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP:
(Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given
the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.SLAPPED
employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All
employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority
Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employeemay be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times
as the company deems appropriate. If an employee follow the
above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get:HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum
Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans,
any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED
or SCREWED by the company. Management wishes to assure the younger
employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High-Intensity Training
(S.H.I.T.). We take pride in the amount of S.H.I.T. our employees receive. We have given our employees more S.H.I.T. then any company in this area.
If any employee feels they do not receive enough S.H.I.T. on the job, see
your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to
make sure you receive all the S.H.I.T. you can stand.
And, once again,
thanks for all your years of service with us.

[batchmaster]

kind of getting away from the subject of the thread, eh driver...i have a guy that can fart on command, and he makes sure he does it whenever there is anyone inquiring about a job, order, whatever, but when they are actually in the office. makes for some awkward moments for sure.

[Driver]

LOL Yeah guess I did,just didnt have anything else to do that night but Spam some of my junk E-mail that night.I guess this looked like best place for it,
Forget to stick to work related topics ;D

[batchmaster]

matt's on vacation so...otherwise i'm sure he would have been all over you. probably even moved your post to the right place. now i'm getting off topic. was in another forum, there was a guy that was always busting people's chops about how to post and where to post and the rules of posting, if i could ever get a hold of the guy i would slap him.

[Driver]

LOL,,,,
I see that alot on gaming sites (forms)ppl are serious about posting.LOL some have forgotten that this is the INTERNET and anything goes ;D

I a have Q tho before Matt sends me into the Recycle Bin.
How does a driver get vacation this time of year? ;D

[batchmaster]

you have to know the right people...as busy as we are, i could just about give the whole crew a vacation.

[concretebiatch]

I would almost pay YOU to NOT do that LOL

[Driver]

I cant see Burning Vacation time this time of year,,never understood that,,if I am going to be hot, sweaty,& hating the heat it may as well be at work ;D thru out our work season I am happy with a occasional long weekend (rumor has it we are shutting down about noon Saturday till Wednesday)
I waits for the flight birds to start dropping down,,and if that don't happen early enough I go after those smelly deer that roam our woods,
Yep Vaction is for Hunting & Fishing seasons..Is there any thing else out there worth missing work for?? ;D ;D

[batchmaster]

not really in my book, most of the time i try to take a day or two here or there through the summer, then i take my week's vacation in the winter when we aren't doing anything, but my time all pays the same anyways so...i don't have to be here to be paid like the driver's do.

[westside198]

AS FOR FUNNY we had some clown from south america take a load out of the yard, and I was next to load and I opened the tube door and low and behold a ticket with the otherdrivers name (southamerica) was on the ticket. I called my boss on the line and was about to tell him when he told me DONT BOTHER ME! NOW. So about two minutes later i called up again and said jimmy!(DONT BOTHER ME! he said again. About five minutes later jimmy figured it out and said well whos ticket does he have? You told me not to bug you.( run forrest, run)

[concretejoe]

I watched a driver one time pull up to a wall commence to pouring and then fell directly to sleep. He probably dumped half his load before anyone could wake him up.

[BillyCement]

About 25 years ago I delivered 7 yards to a homeowner who was extending the concrete deck around his in-ground pool. He was from some country in Eastern Europe. His wife was the only one who spoke English. Well, after they took a few wheelbarrows his wife came up to me and said "My husband said this isn't the right concrete." I asked "What's wrong with it?" She said "Come down by the pool and look at it." So, I walked down to the pool and looked. I said "So, what's wrong?" She said "Well, see how the old concrete is smooth?" I said "Yeah...." She said "Well, this concrete isn't smooth." I thought she was joking but she wasn't. I said "Ya know you have to float it to get a smooth finish on it, right?" She had no idea what I was talking about. She said "We wanted the kind of concrete that you just pour out and leave it." I said "Yeah, everyone wants that kind of concrete. Problem is it doesn't exist." So, I looked in their garage and found an old brick trowel. I showed them what I meant about finishing. I got rid of the load as fast as I could and I guess they finished the whole 7 yards with that brick trowel. I wish I could have gone back to see the results.

[concretejoe]

Hey billy,
Should have helped'em out. Maybe you would have gotten a big tip. Unless you're paid by the load then dump and run brother.

[BillyCement]

Ya know, when I finally rid of the load and went to get paid I told her that I wasn't going to charge her the waiting time charge. It would have added another $100 to the bill. She said "Oh, ok.". Nothing. No thanks....no tip. No, we don't get paid by the load, we get paid by the hour. My biggest tip was $103 because I helped a guy wheel 3 yards. The smallest tip I ever got was 15 cents (homeowner). On my way back to the truck I threw it on top of the fresh concrete where he'd see it.

[gant]

heres one I thought was pretty funny... we were hauling some flowable fill just to fill in a hole down at holcim.. well the same company called back to order some 4000PSI RSAS to finish up the mudslab the poured a little earlier.. well our central dispatch took the order and put it in as flowable fill instead of the 4000PSI mix.. well when the driver pulled up there was a concrete tester from PSI there and wanted a sample.. well the driver thought he had the 4000 and put it in full discharge at Idle to bring it to the back.. well as soon as he did that it all came out, about 3 yards came out and knocked the wheel barrow covered the tester in it.. it was funny as hell..

[BillyCement]

Several years ago I delivered a few yards to an elementary school. While we were pouring, a teacher brought her class out to watch, they looked like kindergarten or first grade age. After a few minutes of watching, the teacher walked over to me and asked "What makes the concrete come out of the barrel?". I looked at her and said "Ya know, I've been doing this for over 20 years and I haven't figured it out yet.". She looked at me and said "Uh...okay.". I'll bet she was thinking "Special Ed kid, no doubt.".

[BillyCement]

With autumn on its way to the Northeast I was reminded of something that happened to one of the other drivers I work with. Back in the autumn sometime in the mid 70's this driver was driving slowly down a street looking for the house number that was on his ticket. Up ahead on his left a woman was standing in her front yard waving at him. He thought "I guess this is where the job is.". When he pulled up in front of her house she asked him "Are you working today?". He thought it was a strange question but he said "Well, yes I am.". She then asked him "Well, then why aren't you picking up my leaves?". She thought his truck was a leaf vacuum. He just stared at her for a few seconds, shook his head and then drove on his way.

[hicups]

He thought it was a strange question but he said "Well, yes I am.". She then asked him "Well, then why aren't you picking up my leaves?". She thought his truck was a leaf vacuum. He just stared at her for a few seconds, shook his head and then drove on his way.

I'm still laughing my a** off....

[hicups]

Well, a couple of guys thought this was funny! When I first started driving on my own, I had a couple of incidents and one of them was, I was oiling my truck down and it has a trailor that has to be let down and I let it down and got distrated for some reason or another and forgot to stop it from going all the way down and while I was oiling, the pressure built up and my truck started rolling down hill and was headed down to the scatter area and standing water was...when the truck started rolling back I was scared and all I could think of was I was going to loose my job cause that damn truck is going unto that water..(not knowing but there was two guys across the street watching and 1 guy in the front end loader watching) they said I started to run to the otherside of the truck to try to stop truck but I realize I didnt have enough time to do that cause by this time its starting to roll a little faster, so I open the passenger side door jump into and across the shifters and put on the brakes..They said I was moving pretty fast and I should of seen the look on my face....after it was all over and done it was pretty damn funny, I thought the frontend loader guy was going to fall out of his tractor lauging his a** off...and two guys across the street was doing the same damn thing...

[gant]

^^^ back when I had a tag truck after I would leave a muddy job i would turn my tags all the way up to lift the ass end of the truck up and start going through the gears and throw all the mud off.. worked great no muddy streets and didnt have to worry about throwing mud on someones car..

[Mort]

^^^ That's a good idea.

A couple months back I was pouring for some Russian guys. They were a crew that wanted to pour in one spot with 2" slump concrete and rake it all out (with garden rakes). After I explained to them that they could move the chute and taught them some hand signals, we got it poured out.

Well, the homeowner, the only one that spoke any English, went to the hardware store to get some trowels. We got done, and I had a full chute (after I tried to stop them short and scrape it out) and about 3/4 of a yard left on. His wife came out and asked me if I had any left (in broken English, mind you). I said I did, and I would take it back and recycle it, no extra charge. She said, no no, put it right there on a tarp on the sidewalk. Hell, I'm just the driver, I have to do what the customer says, because afterall, they own every rock. I asked her if they had a slab to pour out back, and she thought that meant that they would just pile it out back.

The guy got back and saw a pile and came unglued. "They told me you'd take whatever was left back to the plant!" I told him that I explained that to his wife, and she told me to put it right there, and I had to do what the customer asked me.

I just rinsed out, had them sign my ticket, and left. They were arguing in Russian the whole time, he was yelling at everybody (except me), it was great.

[cfconcrete]

Speaking of trucks rolling downhill, I had an old Crane Carrier way, way back that the brakes never held on a hill......not even on a slight hill......
Drive Safe......

[Mixer Driver 69]

OK, I'll throw myself under the bus (or the truck, as it were) here.

When I was a trainee (not so long ago), I was on a 3500 PSI job. My trainer was sitting in the passenger seat as we were waiting (3rd in line) to pour out. The inspector walked up to the truck, got on my step, and asked, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm 39". He looked at me real funny, so I said, "I know I look a lot younger than that, though." My trainer was laughing so hard, and he showed me the ticket, and told me that the inspector wanted to know when I was loaded. DUH!

[BillyCement]

Jul 22, 2008 23:23:11 GMT -5 Mixer Driver 69 said:

OK, I'll throw myself under the bus (or the truck, as it were) here.

When I was a trainee (not so long ago), I was on a 3500 PSI job. My trainer was sitting in the passenger seat as we were waiting (3rd in line) to pour out. The inspector walked up to the truck, got on my step, and asked, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm 39". He looked at me real funny, so I said, "I know I look a lot younger than that, though." My trainer was laughing so hard, and he showed me the ticket, and told me that the inspector wanted to know when I was loaded. DUH!

Hah!! That's a good one. ;D